You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
