Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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