Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
