They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize