Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
