he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
