I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
