Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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