so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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