I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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