Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
