she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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