I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
