I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
