HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
