respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize