it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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