atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize