My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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