But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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