Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
