The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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