North Korea, Best Korea!
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
