i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
