either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Randomize
