do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
