My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
