K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
