The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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