how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
