Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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