What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
