I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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