I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
