seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
