Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
