Pappa wants mamma naked
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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