Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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