That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
