I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
