I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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