what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She even gives head with a lisp.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
