he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
