Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize