I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
