Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
