If that was your dad, he is hot
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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