I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Terrible idea I love it
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
