Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
