So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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