when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
