Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
