Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
