you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize