you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
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